What is the line?

Every first responder that signs up for a career, regardless of full time, part time, or on-call status, understands that a commitment to public safety will result in them stepping forward, over the line, into a world of uncertainty. There are two sides to the line, here on the “safe” side where normalcy is expected. Living your life as a parent, spouse, neighbor, and friend. In today’s world, the normal side is already well stressed with family commitments, bills, house projects, school projects, and the normal day to day stressors that is ultimately felt by everyone in society. 

The other side of the line is where most of society will never see. Its where tragedy and traumatic experiences occur. When a first responder puts on their uniform, they have already stepped over the line. Understanding that anything can happen moving forward. As a first responder, we understand that it’s our job to deal with the worst-case scenarios, the situations that those living in the normal side do not understand and would have no idea what to do. For whatever period of time that the uniform is on, or a pager is on the hip, we live in a world that is on edge, stress filled, and ready for whatever is thrown at us.

Sometimes we can manage years of being on that side of the line with no issue. Minor flaws here or there, or sometimes your first day will present a challenge that you have never imagined. At first, these minor incidents roll off your shoulder with no problem, you learn to deal with stressful incidents with a comic dark relief. After years of firsthand traumatic experiences, the memories weigh us down. 

When your shift is over, uniform hung up, and you have stepped back over the line, it’s your responsibility to return back to “normal”. Arriving home and again being a parent or spouse. Dealing with the normal life’s stressors. Your commute time from the first responder world to normal life can be pretty immediate, within minutes or seconds. Your expected to come home, walk in the door and forget all that you did on the other side of the line and be the person everyone enjoys and looks forward to even though our view of the “normal” world has become darkened due to the constant exposure to trauma. Personalities change, relationships get hurt, friends distance themselves, and the everyday stressors of life become intangible.  Unfortunately, for most first responders the transition back and forth over the line takes it toll. Balancing the first responder world to home life, parties with friends, and children school or sporting events.

In the first few years, first responders cannot wait to cross the line. Police officers looking for that first arrest, firefighters dreaming of their first fire, EMS personnel waiting for the first real sick person to treat, and dispatchers waiting for the 911 phone to ring. Senior members of the organization are widely visible due to their salty experienced attitudes. Rookies can pass judgement without understand that the grump senior member was once a jolly recruit. Yet years of stepping back and forth over the line have taken its toll. Life for the experienced member is not the same as it once was. Many are now divorced, may or may not have relationships with their children, only have friends that are first responders, established an alcohol or substance abuse problem, sleep issues, and have possibly thought of committing suicide. 

 The line is where everything can change. Positive and negative. Recognizing that behind the line, we need to seek support when needed. We need to ensure our first responders can live a “normal” life on this side. Normal for us may not be the same as your neighbor, but this is our world and we need to make sure everyone has the support behind the line.